RAC'S RANT

By Dick Richards

Have you ever stopped to think why it is that we, the collector, would do almost anything to get that autograph of our favorite athlete or celebrity? Or better yet, why we would even fathom paying $500 for ONE PACK of trading cards? I for one, as a collector of sports memorabilia, can at least rationalize paying $100 for an autographed mini helmet signed by my favorite quarterback. But baseball cards? Like millions of others, I too used to collect baseball cards in my youth. But about 10 years ago I had had enough. After all, how long can you derive pleasure out of telling your friends about your awesome card that you have just pulled from a pack which books for $200? Especially when, as you try to sell it, you realize that a dealer will gladly give you a whopping $20 for it. Now im sure there’s a lot of people out there saying “Twenty dollars! Hot damn, I could have retired years ago.” But lets not get ahead of ourselves. The point is, why the collectibles craze? Well I believe that this question can be answered quite simply. I’ve been in many a collectible store, and I’m yet a find an acrylic case with mirrored back and gold risers that is used to display a hundred dollar bill. Ironically, I have seen acrylic cases with mirrored back and gold risers that hold mini helmets, jerseys, bats, baseballs, basketballs, footballs, dual mini helmets, two baseballs, three baseballs, full sized helmets, pucks, and hockey sticks. Coincidence? I think not. In fact, the other day I had received a crisp $100 bill from my grandmother for my birthday. I searched for hours upon hours for that acrylic $100 bill holder. I almost found one, but it did not have the mirrored back, and that just wasn’t acceptable. So I was forced to settle for an acrylic mini helmet holder (w/ mirrored back of course). However, the $100 bill looked pretty silly in there, and although I tried to stand it up, it kept falling over. So I was forced to use that $100 and get an actual mini helmet. To my delight, it fit in my new mini helmet holder perfectly. You might even say that they were made for each other. Unfortunately I’m having more difficulty figuring out why I ever bought trading cards to begin with. I guess what it comes down to is that if people walked around holding a $100 bill and telling their friend to look at it, they probably would need to find new friends. However, what does seem to be acceptable is showing off your $100 Alex Rodriguez rookie card. On the other hand, you may find the $100 more useful if you ever take a trip to the Sundowner in Niagara Falls, but the Rodriguez rookie card may make you more friends. Actually you’ll probably make a lot more friends if you took them to the Sundowner, but that’s beside the point. My suggestion: Don’t spend insane amounts of money on 1 pack of cards; money looks silly in mini helmet holders; and go to the Sundowner for a good time. And finally, always remember this: Strippers are bad at math, always stop at the casino to exchange your money and get the best rates. Happy Holidays!